Wins & Wrestles #3 - How Do I Find My Purpose?

Wins & Wrestles #3 - How Do I Find My Purpose?



min read

💪 A Win To Celebrate

“James, I tried it out! I’m staying silent and seeing things I’ve never seen before in the business” 

For this high-achieving leader, her “MO” was to always speak and solve problems in the meetings she was involved in. A pattern that often happens to those who are insightful, decisive and glass half-full kind of people.

The problem was that the people and teams she led were overly dependent on her. She desired a culture of creativity and problem solving beyond herself. Sadly without any guidance she had become the bottleneck she never wanted the business to have.

So we worked specifically on helping her practise embodied presence in her professional settings which included a particular intention to pause and be silent even though she had the answers and solutions. 

By guiding and holding her accountable to a simple personal practice, she saw these surprising 10X benefits across her business. Staff began to fill her silence with their voices and opinions.They began learning to struggle through their own problems and find creative solutions. And this leader started to get to know and connect with her team at a deeper level.

Now this doesn’t mean she doesn’t ever speak.

But she is growing in a new form of leadership that involves nurturing silence and being okay with the vacuum of awkwardness. 

What a win not only for her own personal growth but a win for her teams and wider business!

If you’re often the biggest voice in meetings, how about trying to hold back this week and note down what you find out about others, yourself and/or your workplace that you didn’t know before?

 🤼‍♂️ A Wrestle To Work Through

 "James, so how do I find my purpose?”

This question was asked of me from a top business leader looking to make significant shifts in the direction of his life over the next 10 years. 

He was struggling with focusing his energy and time because he could do a bunch of things really well and had a range of directions he could head.

“What is my purpose?” is one of life’s core questions yet also one of the most complicated questions.

And rightly so. Because each of us is unique.

We have different stories. We have different beliefs, philosophies and religious perspectives.

And we also change over time!

If you are wrestling with your purpose in life, here are three areas all starting with “P” that I find can be a helpful starter to navigate the complexity.

Pilgrimage. Having a perspective that purpose is a journey and not a destination is fundamental. It moves us away from the endless pursuit of success ie reaching a mountain top only to find there’s another bigger one ahead. Having a “pilgrimage” mindset also incorporates the better versions of ourselves we are becoming in the process. 

Pain. The suffering we experience in life can actually be a valuable compass to what we may be called to do in this world. It’s not just about our strengths and gifts (though they often play a part in our purpose). 

Pass IT on. What’s the “IT” you feel inclined to pass on to others that has endured the test of time? What do people look to you for or ask you about? What do you want to give as a gift to the world so the next generation is better off? What you want to pass on could help in deciphering some of the work connected to your purpose. 

🤜 Over To You

What is one idea or insight that you want to take with you and try applying to your life over the next week?

🙌 What was your Win & Wrestle for the Past Week?

If you'd like to share it, I'd love to hear it. Send me a note here

Glad to be with you on your journey,


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