Your Top 5, Bottom 5, Biggest 5 & Next 5

As you may already know, I highly value the art of reflection and it’s something I take seriously - especially when it comes to transitional points of life such as the new year. 

In fact, I’ve already processed my 2024 using five different approaches—ranging from a single question to an 80-question deep dive.

Now you don’t have to be “reflection geek/enthusiast” like me, but if you’re looking for a method that strikes a balance—not too quick and superficial, but not too overwhelming—I recommend trying my 5-5-5-3 Method. 

It’s a simple yet powerful way to reflect and recalibrate, involving just four key questions:

1. What were your Top 5 of 2024?
   (Wins, accomplishments, or highlights of the year)

2. What were your Bottom 5 of 2024?
   (Wrestles, challenges, or lowlights of the year)

3. What were your Biggest 5 of 2024?
   (Lessons learned or realizations)

4. What are your Next 3?
   (Three key actions or choices for the coming year)

Give it a try!

And a few quick tips before you start:

• Don't let guilt or shame stop you starting—sometimes starting is the hardest part because of uncomfortable things in our year we may not want to face.

• Set aside at least 20 minutes for this exercise—you can refine your responses over days or even weeks. 

• Don’t rank right away—just write freely and let ideas flow before organizing them.

If you’re interested, below I’ve included my own 2024 reflection using the 5-5-5-3 Method. I've intentionally included more details so it may be a bit of a read, however I hope it can give you a sense of what you could include in yours.

——

My Top 5 (Wins/Highlights of 2024)

1. The launch of Brave Men
   Inspired by a prompt in late 2023, I created “brave spaces” for men to engage in deeper conversations and coaching on important life areas that often are neglected. This included hosting live Brave Men dinner events in Vancouver and a four-month coaching program for those ready to take the next step in their growth journey (you can register here to be updated with future Brave Men experiences).

2. Finding joy in baking
   What began as a seasonal experiment with pumpkin-themed recipes turned into a hobby. I started baking treats Candy loves, like pumpkin pie, and discovered my new favorite: hojicha mochi brownies. Yummo!

3. First family cruise to Alaska
   Glaciers, swimming, a 24/7 buffet, a lumberjack show, a cruise version of The Voice, and filming Caleb’s first vlog—it was unforgettable.

4. Rite of passage for my eldest son
   Nate turned 13 on New Year’s Day. To celebrate his entry into manhood, I organized a memorable experience with trusted men speaking life over him, a fire-starting activity, and our first gym session together.

5. A wedding redo with Jon Foreman
   At a spontaneous after-party for one of my favorite singer-songwriters, Jon Foreman of Switchfoot, Candy and I go to re-do our wedding processional—complete with strangers as guests and Jon singing our wedding song live! You can check it out here.

These five moments are all captured in the picture collage above.

My Bottom 5 (Wrestles/Lowlights of 2024)

1. Relapses in recovery
   Despite significant progress over the last five years, pornography still continues to have impacts on my wife, my brain and my joy. I continue to learn how to honestly face the reality of my relapses and bear the consequences rather than avoid, rationalise or blame shift which was my previous mode of operating.

2. Re-engaging a difficult relationship
   I was prompted to re-engage a previously close but broken relationship with a leader, where I felt trust was broken. 

3. Loss and helplessness
   Hearing about a friend’s sudden loss of their young child left me grieving and wishing I could be present for them in Australia.

4. Health challenges
   This year brought an ankle injury, recurring eye infections, and managing genetic high cholesterol, reminding me of my severe limitations.

5. Unfulfilled commitments
   A tough season where multiple people backed out of promises—meetings, social gatherings, partnerships—left me wrestling with feeling my time wasn’t valued and I wasn't being respected.

My Biggest 5 (Realisations/Learnings of 2024)

1. I’m always only 3 feet away from the ditch
   No matter how far I’ve come in any journey (eg addiction recovery for me), I’m always just three feet from the ditch so I need to stay vigilant.

2. Offstage moments matter
   Magic often happens in quiet, unplanned moments—like meeting Jon Foreman or hearing transformation stories from clients and Brave Men participants.

3. Creating transformational spaces is one of my gifts
   I enjoy and thrive in designing and making spaces where people experience growth, insight, and renewed purpose.

4. Not all broken relationships should be treated the same
   Each relationship requires a unique approach to healing, depending on the hurt and history. We still need to decide whether there should be a future relationship and if so, need to take time to determine what it ought to look like.

5. The difference between the fear of death and. being enslaved by it
   It’s natural (and okay) to fear death, but the real danger is letting that fear control your life.

My Next 3 (Changes/Resolutions for 2025)

1. “Set the table”
   Focus on creating group experiences, events, and programs that inspire transformation for those ready to grow. Discover your 2025 Word is an example of that.

2. “Stick to stricter protection policies”
   Establish stricter boundaries to limit exposure to people or partnerships that don’t respect my time and energy.

3. “Strengthen couple recovery”
   Deepen recovery work with Candy through shared commitments and investing in ongoing couple support. This is recognition that my actions have impacts on others and that the thinking "this isn't really hurting anyone else" is a lie I had previously bought into.

Over to you

What are your Top 5, Bottom 5, Biggest 5, and Next 3? I’d love to hear your 2024 reflections. Send them to me james@liveholystic.com and I'll promise to read it.

Take it further

1. Discover Your 2025 Word in 90mins. If you'd like to join me and others to discover your single 2025 focus word so you can gain direction and stay focused through the new year, I'm running a free 90min group training session on Friday, 10 January 2025. Details and registration here

2. Receive my regular Wins & Wrestles email drops. Sign up here and receive encouragement on the journey of redefining your success.

3. Be kept in the loop with future Brave Men experiences. Men, if you'd like to be updated with future Brave Men experiences such as in-person dinner events, online cohorts and retreats, simply register your details here.

4. Want to see my work reach those who most need it and value it? I've decided to allocate a portion of my time to work with 1-2 teams/organizations over 2025 who are in need of a fresh perspective and want an extra voice to help navigate difficult tensions like profit/people imbalances or determining success metrics that are fit for purpose. If your organization/team would benefit from having me part of the team or you know or someone who would, please get in touch with me james@liveholystic.com

2025 is already here.

Through the wins and wrestles and realizations of last year, I want to cheer you on as you take intentional steps forward for the year ahead!

James

#coaching #2024reflection #redefiningsuccess #highsandlows #leadership