Growth
3
Happy New Year!
As you may know, I highly value the art of reflection and am a big advocate of taking time to look back, look up and look forward as a means by which we grow as humans in love, grace, and vision.
I find late December and early January is the ideal window for me to set aside dedicated time to reflect on the previous year.
I've expanded my year end reflection from last year to include more questions (there's now 7 in total).
If you're interested to give it a go, below are the 7 questions split across 3 parts, guiding notes aswell as my personal responses.
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7 QUESTIONS: MY 2025 REFLECTION METHOD
PART 1. LOOKING BACK
Q1. What were your biggest wins of 2025?
(List out high points of the year, your accomplishments, personal growth, team wins, things you were proud of, etc)
Created original songs and writings in the midst of AI automation. I particularly felt a greater freedom and focus to slow down to write and share songs that could be used for congregational worship and support the spiritual formation of both individuals and community.
Stepped into an unexpected leadership role with International China Concern (ICC). My eyes were also opened to a significant need that I was previously unaware of ie the life of children with disabilities and their families. I have so much to learn aswell as much to contribute.
Precious time with my parents after not seeing them for over 3 years. My parents visited Canada for the first time and I’m so thankful because I got a chance to learn to cook some Malaysian-Chinese dishes from my mum, play mahjong with my dad and also witness him pray for the first time ever (that is a miracle in itself!).
Progressed in navigating my inner world and my relational recovery. There has been real progress in my addiction recovery journey (as determined by Candy and counsellors) and I’m learning how true health is not about solo sobriety but relational intimacy.
Experienced lots of “fun-filled first time” moments. Looking back on the year, I’m grateful to get to learn jiujitsu with Caleb, cook new things like laksa and challah bread, watch a Vancouver Whitecaps soccer game with the boys, jump into the cold Tofino beaches, go caving, and hit the ski slopes as a family.
Q2. What were your biggest wrestles of 2025?
(List out pain points, key tensions, low moments, tough situations, losses, people you found challenging)
Flaking experiences in Vancouver. I had more experiences of people not showing up for scheduled catchups and this exacerbated the increasing frustration I was having about “needing to prove myself” as a migrant in Canada.
Relocating into a new place. A move is still a move whether you’re coming from the other side of the world or two doors down! Our relocation in early 2025 felt like a big interruption as I had already “settled in our other place” and brought up stressful situations between Candy and I.
Money flow. I felt the tension of money uncertainty, worrying at times about client flow, income, and whether provision would come.
Limitations of my body. Argh. I continue to experience the growing reality of my ageing body and the need to adjust my expectations as I get older. Jiujitsu was a new hobby/sport that I enjoyed but the impact of injuries affected my ability to be consistent. It’s a wrestle to want to push my body and challenge it while also recognising I’m not in my “prime”.
Is it worth it? I put significant effort into creating and sharing new things for the benefit of others, whether a writing piece or a new program. When there is a lower than expected response it really makes you question what you do and if it’s worth it
Q3. What were your biggest realisations of 2025?
(List things you learnt about life, yourself, work, relationships, the world, etc)
“I’m blind. Help me see.” Recovery of my “sight” is still my primary prayer. I am being invited to see how God sees, especially towards the unseen, the overlooked, and the faithful leaders carrying quiet weight. My work flows from discernment, not striving.
Depth is a gift I must steward, not rush or apologise for. I may take longer because I see different perspectives. I may not feel that I’m as quick as others or seem like I’m as far as others, but that doesn’t necessarily mean failure.
Much of the most important work is invisible. This includes getting to know the invisible work in Candy’s mind, taking the necessary time to integrate my personal ambitions, family needs and work expectations plus paying attention to what my body is telling me.
PART 2. LOOKING UP
Q4. Who do you need to thank for sustaining you through 2025?
(Think of how others, including God, particularly supported you through the year. Name them, describe their impact and maybe even take a moment to say thanks)
God. Showing me He knows best for myself and our family through guiding me towards the ICC leadership role.
Candy. She really is a companion for life that I’m thankful for. Offering me different perspective, a listening ear, practical help and prayerful encouragement.
Tapestry Nights Leadership & Friends. I’m particularly thankful for my local church community leaders/friends including Michael, Jenn, Jeff, Steph, Kirk & Yvonne who support me in ways that include direct encouragement, inviting me to share my gifts and take risks in different ways, meaningful conversations and food - often together!
Accountability Partners! I am connected to three men who have willingly chosen to help be accountability partners on my journey of lifelong recovery. They are crucial and our relationship has grown into friendship.
Supporters and friends. I think of people like Josh, Lawrence, Graham, Viv, Gabriel and others (some of whom I’ve worked with in a coaching capacity too). They want to amplify and support the work I feel called to (holistic human flourishing) through participation, encouragement, offering introductions, etc.
PART 3. LOOKING FORWARD
Q5. What needs to die in 2026?
(Think of a “limiting belief” in your life that tends to stop you moving forward in a significant way and/or robs you of joy)
Limiting belief - “I am falling behind”. It’s easy for me to get caught up into thinking I’m behind when compared to other people, particularly those in my line of work and around my age. This thinking is not helpful, not accurate and not healthy for my mind. This thinking can make me scramble to work more frenetically, to miss out on seeing things that can only be seen when I slow down and result in me failing to be present to important moments and people around me.
Q6. What specific area of your life is undernourished and needs more attention in 2026?
(Think of something that can’t be put off until 2027. It may relate to your personal life, your relationships or your professional life)
Personal prayer. The last four months of 2025 were intense and very full and I saw myself increasingly rushed and that my prayer life (intentional time with God) was suffering. I want to make an intentional effort to grow in consistent prayer for myself and those around me in 2026.
Q7. What do you need to double down on or protect in 2026?
(Think of 1-3 practices, habits or postures that are essential to supporting your growth and goals over this next year)
Prioritize and protect regular family devotion and prayer time. As our boys get older, we’re seeing more instances of schedule clashes and how we can so easily become “passing ships in the night”. We recognized the need for adjustments and found that the singular time in the week where we could intentionally connect, read Scripture and pray for one another is a Saturday lunch time. I want to continue this and protect it as much as possible (while giving grace to myself and our family if it doesn’t happen!).
Move at the pace required for depth, not validation. I will need to give myself permission to work at the speed my depth requires, even when it feels inefficient or countercultural. I want to keep creating, writing, and speaking from discernment rather than chasing affirmation or metrics.
Steward what is already entrusted to me before seeking more. I need to resist the urge to expand prematurely and care well for what I already hold eg my role at ICC, coaching clients, my marriage, my inner life, and communities I’m connected to. It will require me to say NO before I say YES to projects, events, initiatives, meetups. I can already see in this new chapter of life, I will have to be extra protective of my/our family calendar and schedule.
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OVER TO YOU
If you’re up for it, I encourage you to give it a go!
And a couple of quick tips before you start:
I suggest setting aside at least 30 minutes for a first pass, then refining your responses over the following days or even weeks.
Just write freely and let your reflections flow before trying to organize them.
A FURTHER NEXT STEP
Once you've completed your reflection, I encourage you to share your reflections with someone, particularly someone in your life who can help you stay accountable (whether friend, coach, counsellor).
If you'd like, you're welcome to share your reflections to me at james@liveholystic.com.
I pray a special blessing upon you as you step into 2026. May you discover true freedom, deep fulfilment and surprising growth through wins and wrestles and realizations of the new year!
- James