I was standing in the grocery store line with my two boys when our conversation turned to Caleb, my youngest son, becoming a teenager in a couple of years.

I told him that soon, he’ll begin the journey from boyhood to manhood—and that he can look forward to a rite of passage event to signify the start. (Just like I did for our eldest son when he turned 13.)

Then I shared a simple but serious concern: If boys aren’t explicitly encouraged and guided into manhood, they are likely to stay boys—but in grown men's bodies.

That’s when Nate, my eldest son, piped up:
“You can’t say that in public, Dad!”

I smiled at his reaction, but it made me think.

Yes, in today’s world, this might feel weird to talk about. But actually, this is exactly the kind of thing I want to over-communicate to my children.

And at the risk of my own reputation.

Why? Because if I don’t, society will fill in the gaps for them.

The False Picture of Manhood

I never had a single conversation about manhood with my dad.

Not as a boy. Not as an adult.

So where did I get pictures of what it meant to be a man?

From the playground. From the movies. From business leaders.

The message about what it meant to be a "real man" was clear:

• Men are big, strong and have bulging biceps.

• They "man up", don't express emotion and get the job done at all costs

• They make the money outside the home which gives them the licence to be "loose" in other parts of their life.

• They are "players" and "playboys" who are admired by other men because of their sexual conquests and trophy line of women

That’s the shallow and distorted version of manhood I inherited.

And I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that a lot of the dysfunction we see in the world today is because too many men are still living in that story—boys in grown men’s bodies.

And I don’t say that to judge and shame.

I see from my own story and others I've journeyed with, that many of us men were handed a distorted vision of manhood.

We were also given incomplete tools to navigate the tension and complexities of life aswell as a superficial support system that failed our growth as men. As husbands. As fathers. As brothers. As friends.

That’s Why I Started Brave Men.

Brave Men is a space where men come together to grow, learn, and become whole.

It’s about becoming the kind of men whose families, colleagues, and communities are glad to have them around.

If you’re someone who:

• Is wrestling with important questions about life and relationships that you don't have the space to share;

• Is seeking the next level of personal and professional growth and/or;

• Desires to shift the trajectory of their generational legacy

Then the 4mth Brave Men Group experience could be for you.

What You Can Expect:

1.Join in on a unique frequency of conversation 👊
We’ll talk about true manhood and cover topics like:

• How to navigate the significant tension that key decisions,whether personal, professional or family-related

• Identifying the masks we wear to perform for others 

• Combating comparison that suffocates and strangles our joy 

• Making sense of our life story so we live with more clarity and direction 

2.Grow by discovering what you don’t know 👊
Many of us stay stuck because we only operate within the knowledge of our past. Growth happens when we gain new perspectives from outside ourselves.

A professional who signed up for the 4mth Brave Men group experience said "I'm joining because I don't know what I don't know".

3.Practice together with motivated, principled men 👊
You’ll journey alongside entrepreneurs, business owners, and professionals who have been vetted and who all subscribe to the Brave Men core values such as:

1. We welcome with no judgement

2. We keep confidentiality and do not share other people's sharing

3. We take personal responsibility for our own growth

4. We communicate thoughtfully

This isn’t just a theory.
This isn’t a trial run.
This is years of research, experience, and feedback distilled into transformational journeys and full of practical tools and applications.

Want to Take the Next Step?

The next in-person Brave Men Group kicks off Thursday, March 20 | 7:30 PM – 9:00 PM📍Burnaby/East Vancouver Region.

If you are interested, message me james@liveholystic and we will jump on a call to discuss further details and to check if you would be a fit for the group.

If you can't make the upcoming 2025 Brave Men's Group but are interested to join a future online or in-person group, then make sure you register your details at the bottom of the Brave Men page here and I'll add your name to the waiting list.

For Further Reflection

Whether you can join us for the upcoming Brave Men Group or not, I leave you with a couple of questions to reflect on:

1. What vision of manhood do you want to live out and pass on to the next generation?

2. What message do you want to be known for over-communicating, even if you were labelled "weird", because you knew it would benefit those around you?

Let's change the narrative of manhood, one man at a time.
With you, James

Photo: A capture from one of our 2024 Brave Men group sessions on "Facing the Bear: Navigating tension in decisions and relationships"