4 years ago, Candy, Nate, Caleb and I boarded a Qantas flight in Sydney, Australia with a one way ticket and 20 luggage pieces. 

15 hours later, we would arrive at Vancouver Airport.

We knew where we would be living that night. 

 We didn’t just know what we would be doing the next day and beyond.

We simply had stepped into what we felt was obedience to “a God call” to relocate.  

Why move to the other side of the world?

I still don’t have a full answer to that question. 
All I know at this stage looking back, is it’s been hard, it’s been eye opening and I am also hopeful for what’s ahead.

Please read on for some of my reflections and experiences after 4 years living as a migrant. I’d love to hear your thoughts afterwards!

4 things I’ve found particularly hard: 

1. Having a completely blank canvas to work with. So James, what do you want to do now? What are you going to do with your life? What’s the first paint stroke? This requires a significantly different mindset and set of skills than previous environments where there are set structures and guidelines and you are invited to do specific things because of your known competence. Starting a painting from scratch is very different to colouring in “a given outline”.

2. Starting and running a life coaching/consulting practice on my own. Call me a sucker for hard things:) While I’ve loved the work and people I’ve got to work with, starting a solo “people-oriented” business in a new place where I don’t have strong relationships, has honestly been one of the hardest things I’ve done in my life.  

3. Arms length friendliness and flakiness in Vancouver. I shared an experience here and many local Vancouverites acknowledge the reality of it.

4. Confusion about my relationships in Sydney. My mind has on occasion gone into unhelpful over-thinking as I’ve tried to decipher or assess the state of my relationships in Sydney. Am I meant to reach out? Was it really a close relationship? Is it better for me to focus on new relationships in the place I’ve migrated to? How do they see the relationship?

Above: The first Brave Men's Dinner I organized and hosted in March 2024 on the topic of "Redefining Success". I didn't know how it would turn out, who would participate, but I'm so glad I gave it a shot.

4 things I've learnt (and am still learning):

1. There’s a huge difference between the experience of a holiday/short term trip versus living day to day in a certain location. I’d say be careful about romanticising a place because of a short term experience. The reality of day to day life is night and day.  

2. Don’t be quick to “settle”. I get why we may want to settle quickly as it helps us feel safe, but jumping too quickly into relationships, communities and/or familiar jobs may be a barrier to the things that migration was meant to teach me.

3. It’s not better or worse, it’s just different. In my first two years, I couldn’t help but compare my Sydney living experience which fuelled my frustration with living in Vancouver. Even though Australia and Canada are Commonwealth countries and there are similarities, the cities of Sydney vs Vancouver (and to be more specific Richmond, BC for me), are very different. 

4. I tend to connect more with people who have also moved or migrated. Maybe this is just the nature of human connections that strengthen because of shared experiences? I’ve seen that in the people I tend to hang around with and spend time with.

4 things I’ve found to be helpful as a migrant:

1. Showing up, checking in and contributing regularly to a local community has offered me in return an inbuilt level of accountability against the temptation to isolate or hide, particularly in the low and lonely times as a migrant.

2. Prioritizing time with people who show a genuine interest in me. They invite me out to blow off some steam, get active (because I love anything sporty) and ask questions in order to get to know me. In most settings, I’m often the one asking questions (which btw, I enjoy!) and yet it’s nice when others ask the same of me.

3. Receiving invitations to operate in my giftings. I know invitations take time because people need to get to know you, assess you and decide if they trust you. I’ve found when people invite me into things that light me up, whether that’s speaking to a specific group for a specific purpose or sharing new songs I’ve written, I get to express more of the fullness of myself to others.

4. Warm purposeful introductions. “James, there’s someone I want to connect you with!” I’ve come to experience the joy of hearing such a phrase. And sometimes it comes from the most unlikeliest of people. When I hear this phase, I experience a few things 1) a happy feeling because someone has taken time to know me and what I’m hopeful for 2) gratitude for someone’s willingness to want to practically help me 3) a desire to help another person out in the same way when I next get an opportunity

Above: One of the first things I was invited to. Badminton! Sport, competition and conversation. Ooh my jam. I can see how pivotal this moment was for me at the time and relationships I have now. 

4 things I'm hopeful for in the next 4 years:

1. To be able to converse in Mandarin!

2. My immediate family (myself, Candy, Nate & Caleb) would collectively and individually become greater vessels of grace, love and encouragement.

3. Assuming I’m alive in 4 years, I would have hit the 10 year mark in addiction recovery. Whatever I’ve learnt along the way, I want to have passed it on to benefit others.

4. I’m working with an awesome team that helps fully develop and release songs and tangible creative products that help individuals, families and communities flourish! Many of these songs and ideas  are currently “on simmer”. 

Over to you:

Gee, what I thought would start out as a short little page to share with you on 4 years as a migrant, got bigger and bigger as I wrote!

So, good on you if you’ve been able to get to this point.

I would love to hear from you whether you have had a migrant experience, never had a migrant experience or are wondering about making a relocation move at some point in your life.

A couple of reflection questions to get you started:

1. Was there anything I shared about that particularly stood out for you?

2. If you’ve had a migrant experience, what was hard, what was eye opening and/or what was helpful

👉 Email me james@liveholystic.com and share your thoughts with me. I'd love to hear them!

Wherever you find yourself today, whether in a place of belonging or unbelonging or somewhere in between, may you know you are so valuable. I'm glad you are around.

And thank you for being interested in hearing from this mixed up Aussie-Malaysian-Chinese-Canadian dude who is still trying to figure stuff out!

James

#migrantexperience #4years #hardhelpfulhopeful #liveholystic #australia #canada