You haven’t hit rock bottom.
But life isn’t where you want it to be.

You’re tolerating something that isn’t serving you.

The Problem with being in a "High-Bottom" Place?

Change feels optional.

We tell ourselves:
"It’s not that bad."
"At least I’m not as bad as that guy."
"I’ll deal with it later."

I’ve been there.

For me, it was pornography.
For others, it’s drinking a little too much, scrolling social media until midnight, overeating, gambling, drugs—things that aren’t “ruining” our lives but are quietly eroding them.

I remember the justifications I used to tell myself:
"At least I’m not seeing prostitutes."
"I’ve gone months without it."
"It’s just Netflix and YouTube—nothing hardcore."

And while those things may have been true, so was this:

1. I was wasting time that could’ve gone toward my marriage, my kids, my passion projects.

2. I had nagging moments of feeling unsettled, knowing I wasn’t fully aligned with who I wanted to be.

3. I lacked credibility to lead fully—especially in conversations with my kids and younger men who were wrestling with vices they couldn’t kick.

I didn’t hit rock bottom.

But I felt myself slowly dying by a thousand cuts.

That was motivation enough for me to make a change.

And it started with taking immediate action—putting myself around men who had already stepped into the change I wanted but didn’t yet know how to make.

Questions For You To Consider

So here's some important questions for you that I wish someone had asked me point-blank and earlier in my life.

• Are you a “high bottom guy”?

• Do your actions mean you are breaking promises and commitments you've made—to yourself, your partner, your kids, your boss, your investors, your God?

• Are you done with tolerating your vices?

• Do you want to make a change before you hit rock bottom or suffer a slow, silent death

If you answered YES to any of the above, below are a couple of immediate actions steps you can take that include my personal support:

Action To Take

🚀 Action #1: Take A Risk – Join the 2025 Brave Men Group (Starting in 3 Days!)
We have a handful of equally motivated guys coming together for a special kickoff this Thursday, March 20 at 7:30 PM in the East Vancouver/Burnaby region. Over four months, one of the things you'll learn is how to identify and overcome your "high bottom" behaviors. On top of other important areas like combating comparison as a man.

👉 Keen to join us and get moving now? Don't want to delay your growth any further? Message me james@liveholystic.com asap and I'll get in touch with next steps.
👉 Know a guy in your life who would benefit from joining us? Share this with them along with the Brave Men Group details.

🚀 Action #2: Go Deep – 1:1 Coaching (One Spot Open)
If you’re ready for more personal, focused work, I’ve had one spot open up for a 1:1 coaching partnership.

👉 Apply here for a life visioning session where you will get clarity on your top 1-3 personalised success metrics, top 1-3 barriers to growth and a suggested pathway for your growth as a man.

A Final Thought

Life change doesn’t have to start at rock bottom.
It starts when you decide that good enough isn’t good enough.

James

**Note: Credit to recovery coach Matt Dobschuetz, who focuses on helping men break free from pornography and who first introduced me to the “high-bottom” concept.
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